Monday, August 01, 2005


My vacation was so great! It really couldn't have been better. I left work an hour and a half early and I was extremely tired from waking up that morning at 5 a.m. I arrived at my friends' house to find that, yes, they did want me to drive an extra car (not my own) down to the lake house. Why my friend's mother, the owner of the car, couldn't drive it down, I'm not sure. Don't think I'm complaining . . I wouldn't have minded had I not felt so exhausted. I mean, I was fighting to keep my eyes open at work and now I was facing a 7 hour drive south that required me to not only be awake, but to be alert. Oh, but I wouldn't be in the car alone. Grandma was going to ride with me, and her shihtzu, Angel. Grandma Emma is 90 years old and very sweet . . . she also has lost 50% of her hearing. So for the first 3 hours of the trip, I was pretty much yelling in order to have conversation with her. You would have thought this would've kept me awake, but I was still struggling. We stopped at Mr. Goodcents, as always, and my friend decided he couldn't handle having his mother ride in the car with him. So . . . now "Mom", and not Grandma, was my companion. Though "Mom" is pretty much an emotional mess (that's as close as I can come to describing her), I was optimistic that she would prove to be a better conversationalist. And she was. I was able to hear about all the bad things that have happened in her life and we went round in circles discussing what it means to know Jesus and how one can have a relationship with him. Circles, because she seemed to always contradict herself. Isn't it frustrating when you're sharing with someone who a) doesn't have revelation, which only comes from the Holy Spirit or b) knows how much they need the Lord, but just won't surrender their life? I couldn't figure out which of these applied to her. But, she kept me awake trying.
At last, we made it to our destination and my vacation really began. The next 3 days were awesome! I love my friends' boat. It's so big and so beautiful. Every day, we'd just drive around, the three of us, my girl friend and I laying out in the front talking, as her husband drove for hours. Occasionally we'd stop and jump in to cool off, and then we'd drive some more. I went tubing once, but other than that, we just relaxed. Every night we ate out - twice at my favorite BBQ place. And every night, we got dessert. The last evening, we went out on the boat after dark and just sat in the cove under the stars - it was so calm, so perfect out.
Every morning, I'd wake up and have my quiet times as I looked out my window to see all the trees and a glimpse of the lake. It was great to have time away from everyday life when I could really reflect on where I am in life and what the Lord's next step is for me. It resulted in me setting a couple of goals for myself. . . something that is so easy not to do. I'm so thankful for my job, but I don't want to become complacent and not be looking forward. It would be easy to stay where I am, though I know my job is temporary, and just wait for the Lord to bring something along. But I know I've got to be moving. In a message I once heard about finding God's will for your life, this guy said that you should ask yourself if what you're doing is bringing God the most glory. And, yes, we can bring him glory just by loving him and living for him, but he's also given each of us giftings and he wants to see us use those. Reality is that I have to work, and I don't expect to ever love doing it, but I don't want to just do anything - I want to do something that is a good fit for who God's made me to be - and I don't want to do it half-heartedly - I want to do it as unto Him. For most people that doesn't happen right away and I couldn't wait for the perfect fit to just come along. I had to be responsible and get a job that I'm honestly not excited about, though I'm grateful for it. But I don't want to settle for it. I have an idea now of what I want to pursue job-wise. If the Lord wants to step in and close the door, that's ok, but, for now, I'm going to start moving.
This weekend was great! - I got a tan, a vision, and a toe ring that says exactly how I feel right now . . . Happy.

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