Friday, September 28, 2007

Little Girls

Ok, let’s talk about something else. Anything else.

Let’s talk about the adorable little girls I babysat for last night. Cait.lin Belle and Ce.celia Rose. With names like that, they had to be cute. And they were.

Some children take several minutes, even hours, to warm up to you. But these girls were not the norm. Four-year-old Celia immediately grabbed my hand and gave me a tour of their gorgeous home, introducing me to Caitlin who instantly asked if I wanted to color. While coloring princesses, Cait (“Please call me Caitie or Cait or . . . I have lots of names.”) asked me all sorts of questions about myself. I’m sure I was never that inquisitive at age five. She wanted to know if I had a boyfriend, naturally, and what I did for a job (try explaining that to a Kindergartener). She even asked if I had wanted to be that (an account manager) when I was little. Meanwhile, Celia tried on princess dresses and galloped around the house on her stick horse, Dreamer. Dreamer ran three hundred miles without getting tired. Tulip, the golden retriever, was adorable too, as she tried climbing into my lap, ball in mouth, just begging for some attention in the most lovable way.

When we sat down to dinner in the kitchen, Cait told me about all the different food combinations she liked to eat and asked me if I’d tried each one. Rice and soy sauce? Ice cream and peas? Ketchup and eggs? Waffles and whipped cream? Edamame and sour cream? The list was endless.

We read not two, but four books, before going to bed. And one book deserved to be read three times before putting it back on the shelf. “Don’t Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late” was so much fun to read! “Again, again, again!”

Both girls, each in their separate rooms, asked me to sing to them or tell them a story about my day. I also got requests to “Please snuggle me”. I couldn’t believe they liked me that much after two hours!

After nearly an hour of stories, vitamins, glasses of water, snuggling, and determining if that loud noise was thunder, they were finally asleep.

I walked around their bright-colored homey home, admiring their taste in decorating and looking at black and white candids on the beaches of Bermuda (their old home). It made me excited to someday decorate my house in a way that reflects my family and our history.

I hope to be back to babysit again soon. And hopefully next time, their cute baby brother, Fenimore (2 mos), will stay home with us, too!

Now who's the weird one?

After letting my mind ooze out onto the blog in the last post, I found myself suddenly over it. No more crazy. Funny how that works. And after a few days of normal thought processes . .

He emailed. (Gah!)

And he asked me to go to a concert. (double Gah!)

In November. (Huh?)

My assumption is that this is a friend thing. Apparently he’s communicating that he would like us to be friends for at least another six weeks. And I would love to be his friend. In fact, I would prefer it. It’s just a little hard to know how to respond to the randomness. And I really don’t want to overthink this – which does mean not utilizing one of my greatest skills, but so be it. I just think that if people are to transition from going on dates to just being friends, something should be said.

Am I right? Tell me I’m right.

If you do, I promise I’ll write about something else next time!

Monday, September 24, 2007

inside my [crazy] mind

So Local Boy stopped calling me. I didn’t see it coming. Mind you, I’m very, very good at picking up on things like this. Except, come to think of it, I think there has only been one other time I’ve had someone stop calling me. And I was only sort of surprised that time. So I guess I really don’t have much experience in this department. But whatever.

The last time we hung out, I was about 100% positive he would call again. That is pretty positive. What I wasn’t positive about was whether or not I wanted him to call again. At what point do you make that decision? After how many dates are you no longer allowed to be unsure and yet still keep seeing someone? Usually I feel pretty strongly one way or the other, so I’m not often faced with this question. But I had decided that I enjoyed him enough to go out with him again. And he did call again, after he was live (on TV, his job) to ask what I thought of the story, since he knew I was watching that particular day. And after that call, I was about 110% sure he would call again . . until he didn’t.

And since that Day of Realization, I have gone through quite the series of emotions and thoughts. And to be honest, I’ve gotten pretty tired of myself.

How many times can you bounce back and forth between caring and not caring? I may have set a new record.

After it dawned on me that we probably weren’t going out ever again, my thoughts were primarily . .




And after some time, I figured that I needed to end my thoughts with a period by deciding whether or not I cared. I was quick to remind myself that there were about five things I didn’t like about him. Three of which were legitimate and two of which were bright yellow – ok fine, red – flags. Things that could’ve potentially caused me much more emotional grief than someone choosing (ouch ouch ouch) not to call me. And thinking about those things has helped to quell the feelings of rejection that seem to rear their ugly head every other day. But my question is how? how do you feel rejected by someone you’re not sure that you like? Odd I think.

And following those feelings of rejection, my pride seems to frequently appear and say “’Scuse me! You did not just make the decision that we weren’t going to date anymore! That is my job! Your job, keep asking me out. My job, decide if I like you.”

I’ve told myself I should be relieved. I should be glad he spared me awkwardness of “ending things” myself. But I’m not exactly doing cartwheels down the street.

I’ve often thought “his loss” as I tell myself how much cooler I am than he is. Did I not have to give the courtesy laugh a few too many times? Did I not think “you did not just say that” on more than one occasion? So it is totally his loss. He'll never get to hang out with me again . . and worse yet, his chances of ever making out with me have gone right down the tube. Only that’s actually not entirely true, because I’m pretty sure that if he called me up and asked me to make out right now, I would do it, because ever since he stopped calling I suddenly find him ten times more attractive than I previously did. And I suddenly remember twenty more things I like about him that could rip those flags to shreds – er, probably not, but you know what I’m saying.

And this is what I’ve been dealing with lately, people. You’ve just seen a glimpse of what goes on inside this mind.

I can’t be normal.

*p.s. I totally know what I'm waiting for, and I know it will come, and I'm in no hurry . . though I'm always in a bit more of a hurry immediately following teasers like that.

Best Friend

I wish she was here. I miss her.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

lazy post

I stole these questions off a daily email I get from church.

Q: Tell us about the adjustment from Omaha to Northern Virginia/D.C.
It didn’t really feel like an adjustment. One of my strengths, according to the Strengths Finder test, is adaptability. I moved and just knew things would be different, that life would change accordingly. And the changes were fun, most of them. It felt like an adventure.

Q: What does an average weekend look like for you?
Every weekend is different. I do whatever fun thing pops up. Last weekend, I spent it dog-sitting at this huge 4-story rowhouse in the city. I walked around the Dup.ont Circle neighborhood taking pictures, eating at’s bar by myself, making friends with the bartender. Weekends in the fall mean football every Saturday. All I want to do is wear red, watch as many games as possible, and eat greasy food.

Q: How did you find your church?
I actually attend two churches. A church leader from home mentioned the young adult ministry at FL, and I was determined to scope out a church before I even moved. It’s a lot like my home church, though there are things I miss about home. I think the greatest thing about FL is all the ways you can get involved and meet people. Plus, I love learning new worship songs and being surrounded by such a large community while worshiping. At my other church (that I consider my home church here) the worship feels more intimate and spirit-led, the people are ALL (at least everyone I've met) overflowing Jesus and super solid in their walks. I love the messages, the mission, the everything at that church . . but it is pretty small and harder to get involved.

Q: What is on your iPod?
A little bit of everything. I put it on random all the time. If I do that now, it plays Billy Joel, Vince Gill, Corinne Bailey Rae, Tim McGraw, and Hillsong United (worship music).

Q: What is on your TiVo?
I don’t have it, which is going to present a big problem when Grey’s and the Office start next week . . at the same time!

Q: Best friend in D.C.?
Well, probably my new roommate now. We have bunk talk at night, listen to daily sermons in the morning, just started waking up an hour earlier to have our quiet times with God, and we play tennis and plan on cooking together, too.

Q: What are you reading?
The Bible, When I Don’t Desire God (about fighting for joy, the eternal not temporal), Holiness and the Presence of God, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and several others I’ve begun but not finished.

Q: Favorite restaurant?
I feel like I should know the answer to this because I love eating out. It depends what I’m in the mood for. I do love Carlyl.e Grand right now. When I go home, I have to eat at Charleston’s and Farmhouse and probably El Bee’s.

Q: MySpace or Facebook?
Both of course.

Q: How did you accept Christ?
I was blessed to grow up in a home and church where I was taught about Jesus. When I was five, I went off by myself, knelt by my bed, and asked Him into my heart. When I was eleven, I realized that committing your life to God was a serious lifelong thing, so I contemplated it for awhile and decided I would jump in with both feet, forever! Best decision I ever made! I am so thankful for His grace.

Q: What dreams do you have regarding ministry?
I don’t really like to talk about my dreams with everyone, but I do have a few. I am more of a “live in the present” person rather than being futuristic. I’m just excited to see where God takes me. I will say that I love seeing people's hearts healed and watching them grow closer to the Lord. (And I'm going to be a small group leader soon!)

Q: Who are some of your favorite pastors to listen to, and why?
I listen to Alistair Begg all the time. I also love John Piper.

Monday, September 17, 2007


Let me start by being honest. I was writing this post about money and how it’s so easy to spend and how I need to spend less of it and how I really want to pay off my debt soon. This led into me saying that I had decided to not buy a plane ticket to Austin for Thanksgiving because was that really the way I should be spending my money? And it was just so stinkin’ expensive that I simply couldn’t justify it. In fact, this was the very thing I had written: “I decided I shouldn’t go to Austin for Thanksgiving. I mean, I can’t justify $400 on the plane ticket even if I – “
But no sooner had I written that very thing than I opened up a new browser and began searching for tickets again. Because before I publicly declared I wasn’t going, I needed to make sure that was an accurate statement. And I can now say that that would no longer be an accurate statement . . because I purchased a ticket! And when I think about that ticket and that trip in November, a burst of joy fills my heart, and I think I might explode with happiness. I am so excited! And the ticket I found was $125-175 less than all the other tickets I was finding! Granted, I did have to leave one day later and return one day sooner than I had hoped, but . . so what! because I’m still going to be there for five days! Five whole days with my wonderful aunt and uncle and three cousins in such a fun, fabulous city – a city I haven’t visited in almost eight years! (I can’t believe it’s been that long.) On top of visiting my cousins, I will also be traveling with them to Houston on Turkey Day to visit my other cousin and his wife and kids. There are so many places I want to visit again while I’m there, but I’m going to refrain from making a list of things to do in order to spare myself any disappointment if they don’t end up happening. I’m going again, and that’s all that matters.

Friday, September 14, 2007

the approval process

Some want to know why their comments aren't showing up when they post. I have to approve them first. This way I eliminate all the junk comments.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

post-post disclaimer

"I'm in a bad mood," I told Best Friend over the phone tonight.

"Were you in a bad mood when you wrote your blog this morning?" she asked.

"No," I said.

I think I was just feeling ornery.

If I ever sound unpleasant in my blog posts, please forgive me. I can be a bit sarcastic at times. I promise I'm a nice person . . if I do say so myself!

I can't resist calling this . . Sweet Suite

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting really tired of this blog being a constant update of what I did last weekend . . but I know I say that a lot. That’s why I tried to spice things up with a little call for some fashion advice in the last post. But only three people tried to help. This could mean a few things: 1) You could care less about my new dress (which I can only assume means that you don’t enjoy shopping), 2) You don’t trust your own fashion sense, or 3) You are too lazy to post a comment. I suppose your reason for not posting could be all of the above. In that case, you would be a lazy, unfashionable person who hates shopping. My heart goes out to you. But enough of me giving you a hard time for not posting . . and on to me giving you a life update.

I could tell you everything I did with Alabama Girl last weekend, but to be honest it was primarily spent watching football and reading gossip magazines while lying in our Heavenly Beds at the hotel just two miles from my apartment. I would not be overexaggerating to say that the hours we spent doing just that definitely hit the double digits. It was quite rejuvenating and made it very difficult to return to the twin Ikea bed and an apartment with no flat screen tv.

Friday night was the exception to the above. Alabama Girl had purchased tickets to the Orioles v. Red Sox game at Camden Yards, and I was very excited to enjoy the experience with her. RFK Stadium can’t touch Camden Yards, so it is always well worth a drive to Baltimore. Not to mention that the Orioles are more fun to watch.

So there we are, an hour late – big deal, because if I sat through an entire baseball game, I think I’d shoot myself – and we’re walking up to the gate, tickets in hand. A woman on her cell phone is approaching us, and holding out her tickets at the same time. “No, no, no,” we say. “We already have tickets.” She insists “Trust me, these are good seats”, placing them in Alabama’s hand and walking away. As we continue walking, Alabama gasps “These are suite tickets”. “SHUT! UP!” I say. We both stare at the tickets in our hands and do a quadruple take. The stranger just gave us tickets for a private suite!

Squealing with delight, we are afraid to believe it’s true. Surely there’s been some mistake. But as we’re allowed up the escalator toward the suites, we’re realizing it’s a reality. We walk into the suite, full of people, and soon we see that we didn’t just get suite tickets. We’re sitting behind home plate!

The experience was pretty phenomenal. The food, the view, the . . loss – well ok, the score of the game was pretty bad, but beyond that, it was amazing. Sitting in a box like that each game could really move the sport of baseball up in the ranks for me. We were, not surprisingly, the last ones out of the box, snapping pictures and filling up a box with leftover cookies and sweets . . and using the bathroom of course, you’ve gotta have the full experience.

Undoubtedly the game was the highlight of our weekend and a treat we’ll always remember.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

maybe you need options

Since no one could think of any shoe ideas for my dress, I did a little research of my own. What do you think?

Monday, September 10, 2007

Fashion Advice

Two things:

1) Isn't my sister cute?

2) I bought some gray footless leggings to go with that dress I'm wearing. (Don't worry, I'll wear something underneath it since it's so low-cut. I had my swimsuit under it here.) But what color of shoes should I wear? HELP!

Friday, September 07, 2007

the bright side

Having company in town is . . a lot more fun than not having company in town. It feels like being on vacation. Only I can’t afford to be on vacation. In fact, I can’t afford to buy myself a new song on iTunes. Yes, that’s right – I don’t even have a dollar to spare. This month has just plain SUCKED financially. Remember how beautifully I was doing? Not buying myself anything for six long and painful weeks? Well, I did break the streak. I spent a full thirty dollars on a shirt this month. Everything else I wrote checks for was an unpleasant surprise. Surprise!-your car got towed. Surprise!-your claims haven’t gone through, so we won’t refund the money you paid us that you didn’t have to pay us in the first place but we asked you to anyway. Surprise!-you owe the state of Virginia more money. Surprise!-sort of-you have to register your car. I feel like I’ve already mentioned all of this in a previous post, so sorry to be repetitive.

The bright side in all of this is that my month starts in the middle of the month, so I only have nine more days of nail-biting (but let’s be honest, I always do that) and toast-eating (it’s actually quite yummy with jelly or Nutella). And the blessing in the bright side is that my friend has been so generous while she’s been staying with me, and we’ve enjoyed two very delicious meals out already with more fun plans in store. I really am speechless-ly grateful.

The point in all this is that although I’ve been staring at a big fat zero in my checking account, I’ve still had a wonderful month. My former youth group leader visited, and we spent a day at the beach. Mom’s visit meant food and shopping and quality time. Out-of-town Boy visited and took me to dinner. And now Alabama Girl is here and we’ve been having a wonderful time together with lots of laughs.

God is good.

The last few days have involved:

- very delicious Mexican food at Cab@na’s on the Waterfront
- melt-in-your-mouth brownies homemade by us
- walking around the shops in G-town
- homemade hot wings, white rice and a glass of Pinot (thanks to my roomie Lyn, the best cook ever!)
- bathroom talk and other candid conversation
- Chinese dinner where I picked my tilapia straight out of the fish tank and struggled to use my chopsticks properly
- College football on tv (We used to have all-day football Saturdays when living in the same city.)

Tonight we’re heading to B-more to watch the Orioles play the Red Sox. And although I live a full two miles from downtown D.C., we’re staying in a hotel this weekend to escape my full house. Fun times ahead!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

feeling popular

Wow, my fabulous love life is getting confusing. Typical. Ha!-obviously I'm completely joking. But I thought I'd provide a little clarification on the odd amount of attention I've been receiving lately since I haven't been providing any specifics.

We have Out-of-Town Boy who sent the mystery flowers, was visiting D.C. last weekend, took me to dinner and watched the game at the pub with me.

We have Local Boy who I've gone out with three times. Same guy I ate the silica in front of. Same guy that took me to the baseball game.

And we have Boat Boy, one of the guys I go boating with that occasionally calls for no reason and wants to take me to dinner this week.

Out-of-Town Boy is the punster, the one that I enjoy least, the one that seems to have been the most persistent - go figure.

Local Boy is fun, considerate, I like him, but . . not so sure.

Boat Boy is funny, fun and owns a boat. Do I even need more in a guy? But seriously, I'm not attracted to him. And most importantly, he doesn't love Jesus.

So there's the scoop. Bottom line: I'm probably going to be single for awhile.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

my Labor Day

Not only did the Boy get us great seats at the Nats game, he took me to dinner on the Waterfront, ordered me fried calamari even though he doesn't like it much, and let me watch football on his huge flat screen. Best part of the night? Dancing in his living room to Justin Timberlake's live concert . . well, me more than him. Can someone say comfortable?

Sunday, September 02, 2007

change of plans

Could you sense the negativity in my 'Beaches' post? Being the positive person that I am, I took it as a good indication that I shouldn't go to the beach this weekend. I just didn't have a peace about it. And whenever a feeling of unease overpowers my love of all things fun in life, I know that I best be going with my gut. It still doesn't make a whole lotta sense to me, but I know that staying home was the right thing to do, and I haven't regretted it for a second.

Boy that sent the mystery flowers and lives out of town happened to be in town this weekend, and I decided the nice thing to do would be to . . let him take me out to dinner. Er, I mean hang out with him. Honestly, I didn't realize the night would consist of scrumptious baked and tender halibut served over a moist polenta cake topped with vegetable salsa . . or that it would be followed by a warm chocolate macadamia nut waffle next to a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream drizzled with chocolate and caramel. Otherwise, I would've been way more excited about it. The more chances I give this boy to win me over with some aspect of his personality, the more I am annoyed by his silly puns and quirky habits. I feel mean saying that, but can I be honest on my own blog? He is such a nice guy, but there is absolutely nothing that would lead me to believe that we would be a good match. And for that reason I made a specific effort to explain in great detail why I would not want to move back to my home state (even though I love love love it).

I took him back to his hotel at a relatively early hour, but not before he asked if he could watch the Nebraska game with me on Saturday at the glorious pub near Union Station. I said 'of course' only partially hesitant. I don't mind having his company, and I'd made perfectly clear my non-interest so no harm in having him tag along.

The next day, donned in red, I awaited his call to let me know he was ready. He'd had to pick up his new 'toy' several miles away. The word that would best describe the way I was feeling after getting his call is: angry. Or rather irritated, I suppose. We were going to be late. I chose immediately to pick up a bad attitude and phone my mother to vent. "Gah!! Mom! I am so irritated!! Now we are going to be really late and there won't be anywhere to sit!!", I said as I pulled my car up to his truck and tensed my muscles in frustration. Suddenly, the large styrofoam cup full of fruit smoothie and sandwiched between my legs broke open and my healthy lunch began oozing out the side and into my crotch. I screamed, hung up the phone and endured his laughter as he saw what had happened. Exactly what I deserved for being in such a sour mood.

I was right about not finding a place to sit. Although it was a holiday weekend and we were up against an unranked team, the die-hard Husker fans were there and just as pumped as I was for the season to start. At least 300 people filled the four rooms displaying nothing but the Nebraska game on the big screens. I met a rowdy crowd near the bar and became the victim in their celebratory human push-ups display in the middle of Mass Ave. I didn't realize I'd be thrown into the air thirty-five times when I agreed to step outside. We dominated Nevada of course and when the game was over, my appetite for football was still not satisfied. So the boy and I grabbed some burgers and fries from F!ve Guys and watched the Cal game back at my apartment.

Today I am more aware of the fact that my friends are on the beach while I've been sitting here in my pajamas for the past three hours. But I'm excited for a low-key day of church, the pool and who knows what else. And tomorrow I've got plans with another boy to see the Nats play. I guess it's nice to not always be so busy.