Thursday, August 30, 2007


It was only two weeks ago that I was on Virginia Beach with two friends and my former church youth group leader (who also happens to be my friends' former 6th grade teacher).

We stayed the night together and woke up bright and early at 5:30am to leave for the beach . . only to discover my car had been towed. (Apparently you need a permit to park in visitor parking.) A couple phone calls and a hundred dollars later, I had my car back and we were on our way. Fortunately the bad start to the day wasn't any indication of what the rest of the trip would be like.

Although it took us over five hours to drive a distance that should've taken three, it was well worth it. The weather was perfect and the company was too. We had a lot of laughs and thanks to one of the girls, we stayed the night in a nice hotel.

It was great to get away, even for a short time. And although I hadn't spent a significant amount of time with my youth leader in years, it was easy to pick up right where we left off. I hope we made her trip out to the East Coast fun and memorable. I know it was for me.

And here I am, only two weeks later, heading to the beach again. This time, the Jersey Shore again. I'm looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. While I love my friends and know we'll have fun, I know it will take double the time to drive there tomorrow and on the way back.

This weekend, the Huskers kick off the season at home against Nevada. I know I'll want to watch the game, but it will really take away from my hours in the sun. And I'm sure I'll be watching it alone. On top of that, the boys called and said they're taking the boat out on L@ke Anna this weekend. I honestly would rather ski than lay on the beach. But I decided to go to the Shore and there's no turning back. I don't know why I'm not excited, but I hope it's not a foreshadowing of what's to come.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

mom and me

Is it any wonder that Em said, "*Gasp* She's you!"

mommy visit

Mom was just here for five days. And she was probably ready to go after several nights on the air mattress and me force-feeding her expensive food, or rather forcing her to pay for it. Not to mention the fact that I nearly got us dehydrated because of my brilliant idea to take the scenic route on our walk. Five to six miles in 95 degree weather with 75 percent humidity, no water, no money, no cell phone. It was only at the halfway mark that our tongues were hanging out of our mouths and we collapsed under the shade of a tree, our hearts pounding and our heads slightly spinning. I had failed to mention to her just how long the scenic route was. It was my stealth attempt at getting us some exercise. It was also the first time I walked into an ice cream shop and only asked for water. We finally hailed a cab, and I ran upstairs for money when he dropped us off. Another one of those times where I just want to look at myself in the mirror and say . . “Idiot!”

Other than eating and nearly dying, we spent some time cooking, baking and shopping. I finally replaced the Citizens that were stolen from my laundry room months ago! And if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that it has to be a sin to spend that much on a pair of jeans. But what a sweet sin it is. Thanks Mom!

Sunday was Cousin J’s 35th birthday. Back in Nebraska, our families would celebrate the four August birthdays together each year. Cousin J, Cousin Joy, Dad, and me. (In fact, two years ago I wrote about J being in town to celebrate here.) Grandma would make angel food cake with homemade frosting every time. So in order to bring a little home to J on his birthday, Mom and I made the cake with frosting for him. The smile on his face was priceless. He even asked if he could keep the rest of the cake after we’d each had a piece with our Haagen-Dazs. He and his wife, K, gave me my belated gift – a cute little Longchamp pouch, perfect for make-up and other things I don’t want floating around in my purse. It was a fun night just being with them, eating cheeseburgers and corn & couscous, playing with Walker, and holding the baby.

I was sad to see mom go, but I hope she enjoyed her time here, finally seeing where I live, seeing where I work, meeting several of my friends and . . even eating at my favorite restaurants. 

Next up is Dad, since I wouldn’t allow him to come along with Mom. After all, two visits are better than one!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

frame of mind

It was the picture frame. But actually, it wasn't even a picture frame. It was a mirror. A mirror with a wooden frame of black swirlies and . . I just can't do it justice. It was lovely. And it put me in a bad mood.

Why? Because I couldn't buy it. At least I didn't feel right about buying it. Not with that last medical bill I have to pay. And that letter from the Commonwealth of Virginia saying I owe them more money for taxes. (They're wrong, by the way. And hopefully my accountant can prove it.)

I've gone six and a half weeks (but who's counting?) without buying myself a single, solitary thing. Except the Harry Potter book when I was delayed at the airport. But that doesn't count, because what was I supposed to do? Sit there and do nothing for four hours? I'm sure that six weeks doesn't sound like a long time to some, but it's quite a milestone for me. Makes me feel like my self-control is off the charts.

I didn't even have a place to put the mirror. And I think that's what made me sad. Not the not buying. The not needing. The not having a cozy place to decorate. Sometimes it gets to me. I'm 26 and I feel like I live in a huge dorm room. It's not just that I don't have the funds to decorate right now. It doesn't make any sense to. Why invest in something temporary?

I think I wanted the mirror to make me forget about the temporary. It would remind me that someday I'll have a place to decorate. Something to invest in. And it will be lovely.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


I'm trying to fix the ugliness of this page ASAP.

For those of you who care - basically what happened is that the template I was previously using became unavailable somehow. It was linked to a URL.

I will miss that template. Our time together was too short.

I only hope I don't scare you all away with the boring blue!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

instant messages

Co-worker: L, this is what happened in song of Solomon. She was NOT all about him at first. he had to keep going after her. if it would KILL you (and that's TOTALLY fair - i've been there) to have him pursue you, then you're right, you can't do it. But if you think that you could stand it, i would let it happen a little bit.

Me: oh man

Co-worker: lol, i love NOT being the one to make decision
What happened to my pretty pink template??

I have no idea!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Over Halfway to Fifty

Once again, pleasantly surprised on my birthday. I want to give a shout out to all the Facebook commenters. Thanks for reading your sidebar yesterday and taking the time to click on my name and wish me a happy birthday. Seriously. Reading comments is much more fun than working.

My first birthday wish was a text from Cousin Joy, whose 22nd birthday happens to be today. We used to celebrate our birthdays together, and I wish this year could’ve been the same. There would have been a lot more chocolate involved, that’s for sure.

My old bedroommate and birthday-sharer, EB, gave me a call bright and early and we wished each other a “Happy Best Day of the Year”.

I had a big lunch with two co-worker friends at the Daily Grill. Chicken parmesan and cheesecake in strawberry sauce. It was a gazillion times tastier than it sounds. And it was free which makes it even more delicious and enjoyable.

Birthday calls from people I love and two boys I don’t like like that. This is when the “I’m working” excuse comes in real handy.

I received one gift in the mail from Anonymous. Two bouquets of irises. The note read “Hope you have a Happy Birthday!!!” Thank you Whoever You Are. I can probably count on one and half hands the number of times I’ve been given flowers, so I was pretty delighted. I’ll be lucky if I can keep them alive for a week, but I’ll do my very best. I carefully followed steps 1-4 on the plant food package so I think I’m off to a good start.

All three of my roommates left cards on my pillow. One with a gift certificate to my favorite Mediterranean mezze place. Lyn, the newest roomie, told me the last two weeks have been better than the previous nine months for her. I think hearing that was better than the gift certificate. Words better than food. Never thought I’d say that.

Not only did Lyn give me a hilarious card with nice words, she made me a crepe cake! Layers of crepes with nutella and cream sandwiched between each one. She is awesome!

I went to dinner with five girlfriends, the old Bible study girls. A couple I hadn’t seen all summer due to traveling and crazy work schedules. We sat on the deck of Indigo Landing, right on the Potomac next to the marina. The food was Southern-ish, but pretty random. I ordered the roasted chicken and asparagus with a pimento cheese fondue-stuffed charlotte. Don’t even pretend like you know what that is. I didn’t. I’ve found that if I’ve no idea what I’m ordering, it’s bound to be delicious. And it was just as pretty as it was tasty. My dessert was the banana pudding. And it was actually done right – with fresh bananas and warm meringue on top!

My friends are so cute. Bruin Girl asked me tons of questions about my birth story and favorite birthday memories growing up. And Kentucky gave me an adorable polka dot umbrella from Crate and Barrel. Apparently the host thought they were cute, too. When I arrived, he asked me if we were all models. Have you ever seen a model that was 5 foot 2?

I haven’t, but I know a girl that height that had a really nice birthday yesterday.

Thursday, August 16, 2007


"I don't know what the future holds
Or what lies beyond my horizon
The years ahead are just out of sight
Well I think sometimes that You hide them
So that I walk by faith, not sight
So that I take Your hand, holding tight

Through twenty-six summers and twenty-six winters
I've laughed in the springtime, I've cried in the rain
Though I've questioned the meaning in some of life's seasons, it's true
They've left me holding on tighter to You

My one desire for the road ahead
Is that we would walk it together
Friend and King, You're my everything
May I stay by Your side forever
For when my heart's afraid, You're near
Whispering to my soul "Don't fear"

I will trust in You alone
For You're the hand leading me home

I've spent twenty-six summers and twenty-six winters with You
Through all of the seasons and my search for reasons
You've carried me through

I will keep holding on to You"

-Vicky Beeching, Painting the Invisible

Friday, August 10, 2007

I miss my friends


So my new bedroommate. She is great. And how did I stumble across a great roommate who happened to also be a total stranger? GOD PROVIDES. I’m really trying to drive that point home – is it working? Hey, a truth like that just never gets old.

First of all, my roommate is sweet as can be (in part because she knows Jesus). Second, she is clean. Third, she thinks I’m funny. Fourth, she likes Nacho Libre.

What more could I ask for?

Thursday, August 09, 2007


Forget "Twinkle Twinkle" . . Michael needs a little hip hop in her life. Does anyone recognize this despite my weak attempt at singing?


I went on a date last night. And I'm not going to tell you about it. But I AM going to tell you a story about what happened on it.

*We are seated at a fancy Italian restaurant I've always wanted to dine at.* I’m chewing my gum pretty vigorously, as I always do when I chew gum, when the bread and olive oil come. Yum! I am ready to eat! But there is nowhere to dispose of my gum. (This is the one negative about nice cloth napkin restaurants.) So we’re looking around. Where can I put it? I could ask our can’t-speak-English server, but I don’t have the patience for that. The only thing in my purse that could possibly work is a silica gel pack – the things that keep your stuff fresh. Nevermind why it is still in there, but it is. So I stick my gum in it and attempt to fold the very small package around the gum. It suddenly busts open and spills beads all over my plate and the table. As I watch the beads quickly disintegrate in the olive oil, I decide I won’t be dipping my bread anymore. (He does offer to let me use his plate, but I’m all “No I’ll just eat the bread by itself”.) Gum set aside, I break off a piece of the bread and am in the process of enjoying it when I taste something very strange . . and very strong. I’m eating a silica bead! - you know, the “Do not ingest” silica beads. And I don’t know what to do. I mean I can’t swallow it, because I’ll probably be sent to the hospital. So I’ve nothing left to do but spit this huge mouthful of bread and silica into my cloth napkin right in front of him.

If the ice had still needed to be broken, I would've shattered it.

I am SO classy.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007


He said next weekend was his last. His new position starts, and he’ll be traveling with the President, working weekends. Only one day left for boating maybe, and that’s this Saturday.

Somehow I just forgot this. I just hit reply and said “Yes, I can babysit all day Saturday”. And now it’s hit me. I chose babysitting over boating. I just lost that last day on the lake.

I wonder if maybe the Lord made me forget. I do need the money, and it means a lot of that. Medical bills, deductibles suck. This is the Lord providing for me, and I’m thankful for that. But I’m praying (literally) that this isn’t it. He did say ‘probably’, didn’t he? I think I remember him saying it was probably his last weekend. I’m hoping in the smidge of doubt in that 'probably'.

Monday, August 06, 2007

I'm a Fool for You

Dear [Lake] Ann@,

Sunday was one of the best days of my summer because, for the third time, I spent it with you. You and the fun guys that own that boat, the L0uella Jane. It was a hazy day that looked a little like rain but that didn’t keep us from grabbing our snacks, our tubes and our towels and backing the boat down into you. Despite the haze, you were as beautiful as ever and the perfect temp, warmed as usual by the nearby nuclear power plant. You must like cloudy Sundays because so many fewer boats are out. I know I was happy. I gladly learned that your dockside cafĂ© makes the most delicious homemade crab cakes and hand-cut fries. It was the perfect lunch to eat on the boat as we cruised our way toward one of your coves. We always bring not one, but two tubes to ride over the gigantic waves created by other boats and Louella’s 360s. Two tubes for tube wars, ramming into each other as we glide back and forth across the wake. Sunday’s ride was intense and I was certain I was a goner multiple times. I don’t know that I’ve ever caught that much air, but I loved every body-slamming, hard-leaning minute. I’m about to be 26 this month, but all it takes is a tube ride to make me giggle like a kid again. Twice, it began to sprinkle and shoo the other boats away. But we didn’t go anywhere. And once it cleared, you glistened like glass and I heard you begging me to come and ski again. “Remember last year?” you said. The excitement grew in my chest as I recalled breaking in the Connelly the year before. Then my mind darted to a more recent memory and the look on my therapist’s face when I told her I planned to ski. “See how you feel . . maybe if it’s smooth,” she said. “I would wear your brace.” I dug through my bag in search of my brace but it appeared I had left it behind. My heart sank. But as I turned to see you so peaceful again, I felt a calm come over me, and at that moment, I knew you’d take care of me. I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by. I quickly unzipped the bag to remove the sleek, narrow-tunneled slalom ski and admire its lovely red-and-white colors. I was the only person to ever use the ski so I felt as though it belonged to me. Between you and the ski, everything would be just fine. After two attempts, I successfully locked my legs against your push and balanced one foot behind the other until I was up and out. I sailed along your smooth and ripply, just enjoying the ride outside the wake. No tricks today, I thought. You carried me well, and I didn’t stop smiling until I let go of the rope and slowly sank back down into your warm embrace. I wished I could hug you right back.


Thursday, August 02, 2007


zooming in on the Bush compound

Walker's Point, the Bush compound

the Bush compound

From further away

Maine coast

another town in Maine


on the new couch

She's gone. No more cheery "Good morning!" when I open my eyes at 7am. No more "Sleep well" when I'm tucked into bed. No more 'bunk talk'. No more animated stories that I never know how to respond to because I can't reciprocate her enthusiasm. No more trying to convince her to break her routine . . to stay up a little later, to eat two ice cream cones in one day, to go for a walk instead of doing laundry. No more EB. I went to her going-away cookout this week, and we had a roommate dinner at Lost D0g hours before she left.

The good news is that she won't be in Boston for law school anymore. She's been accepted at Duke! It's much closer. It's drivable. And . . it's Duke! I've always wanted to visit. Too bad being a student doesn't make basketball tickets any more attainable.

Other good news is that her closet is about 2 square feet larger than mine so I'm moving in! Seniority you know. My new roommate, Lyn, moves in on Saturday. It's crazy that I went from having zero options to three options in a matter of days. God more than provides.

Universal definition

The other day, someone in Korea searched for “cornhead” on a Korean search engine and the very first result was my blog.

Yes, my Korean friend. That is a cornhead.

One month 'til football season.