Last Friday, I cried. I was homesick.
“Home sick? Ohhh, I’m sorry” a friend said when I called her.
“No. Homesick.”
“Ah, that’s almost worse.”
She was right. It is almost worse. I’d rather throw up and have it over with. Or have no choice but to lie on the couch with a box of Kleenex and watch television. Instead, I did it because I wanted to. Because there was no one else in the District of Columbia that I wanted to spend my night with.
Why?
Because no one here loves me! I’m not saying that in a tone of self-pity. It’s simply the truth. You can have fun and spontaneity and good food and laughs, but sometimes it’s not enough. Sometimes you need to be with people who love you. People that you love.
And that’s what I wanted last Friday. I wanted to be at the lake with my family, grilling steaks. Or sitting on my friends’ couch watching television, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. I wanted a hug from someone who meant it, from someone who’s known me longer than a year and a half.
But there were no hugs to be had that night. Instead there were phone calls. And the phone calls helped. Because if I couldn't hang out with the people I loved, at least I could hear their voices, and the love could be felt across the phone lines.
“Home sick? Ohhh, I’m sorry” a friend said when I called her.
“No. Homesick.”
“Ah, that’s almost worse.”
She was right. It is almost worse. I’d rather throw up and have it over with. Or have no choice but to lie on the couch with a box of Kleenex and watch television. Instead, I did it because I wanted to. Because there was no one else in the District of Columbia that I wanted to spend my night with.
Why?
Because no one here loves me! I’m not saying that in a tone of self-pity. It’s simply the truth. You can have fun and spontaneity and good food and laughs, but sometimes it’s not enough. Sometimes you need to be with people who love you. People that you love.
And that’s what I wanted last Friday. I wanted to be at the lake with my family, grilling steaks. Or sitting on my friends’ couch watching television, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. I wanted a hug from someone who meant it, from someone who’s known me longer than a year and a half.
But there were no hugs to be had that night. Instead there were phone calls. And the phone calls helped. Because if I couldn't hang out with the people I loved, at least I could hear their voices, and the love could be felt across the phone lines.
Those calls and those voices made me happy to spend the rest of the night alone, wandering the book store, getting Mediterranean to-go, cashing in my coupon for a free pint of Haagen-Dazs, and watching 20/20.
This Friday could've been a repeat of last, but instead I chose to be social. I went out with co-workers for the first time in a long time to celebrate a birthday. Em was there, and we split a delicious pizza at Mat.chbox, a place I've always wanted to try. It is most definitely the best pizza I've had in the city. (Ok, ok, I'll tell you exactly what I ate; herb-marinated chicken, portabella mushrooms, roasted red peppers, and mozzarella.) I cabbed home to put on my pajamas and watch football, but it didn't last long. Invited to the pool lounge across the street, I pulled a pretty late night with a friend from home and her co-workers. I also heard plenty of stories about life at the tv station. Maybe I should've gone into broadcasting.
Today is Taste of Beth.esda, and I hope to go sample a few restaurants and hear some live entertainment. The rest of the day? Football. Of course.
Here's who I spent last Saturday with:
The Bug aka Walker. And his sister, Michael.
Atop Federal Hill, overlooking Baltimore's Inner Harbor. With the Omaha girls.
6 comments:
I have had a few homesick days like that and I have been here 3 1/2 years. Sometimes there is nothing like home.
Oh, feeling homesick is the worst. You're right - throwing up and getting it over with is nothing compared to missing loved ones. Thank goodness for telephone calls.
And I am SO happy you went to Matchbox! We ate there this spring while I was in D.C., and I fell in love with that place! I can't wait to get back - If you're ever craving a fabulous burger, go there. It's seriously the best burger I've had. Mmm ...
i have to agree with you being homesick is worse than just being sick. i used to get incredibly homesick when i was in med school. i think the stress and being so far from home. i used to always say i wanted my home friends. i used to say my real friends, but with time a few of my med school friends have become real friends, some of them even like extended family. i'm glad you got to spend some time on the phone and that this weekend has been fun! sorry, longest comment ever :)
omaha misses you :( i miss our apartment times. when i could walk into the house and know at least one other girl would be there to talk to... no adays i walk into an empty house. there just aren't as many living here as in our apartment. so sad... p.s. i went to missouri for the nebraska game... it was humiliating.
Hey, I saw your blog from Steve and Randel's blog. I knew them from WF Athens and then Marietta. My husband and I are interested in taking a weekend trip to the DC and Baltimore area. I'd love to ask you some questions about the area if you don't mind. Where to visit? Where to stay? etc...
It's the dress! And you didn't show us your shoes.
Homesick is hard. And I know what you mean about missing loved ones. I'm lucky to have my very best friend from college in the same city as me. Very lucky.
Sounds like you wound up having a good night, though.
As for the broadcasting thing, I almost did that. It's what my degree is in. But the two summers interning proved to me that's not what I wanted to do. It takes a person who's really able to separate him or herself from what's going on. I couldn't do it. Not for TV reporting, anyway. It's a tough job.
Editing is much better for me. :)
Post a Comment