Thursday, January 12, 2006

It must be another result of the Curse

Is it just me or are women not supposed to be able to grow a mustache? I, for one, don’t even think we’re really supposed to grow hair in our armpits, but I digress. Dark hair anywhere other than the human head . . . is definitely a masculine thing. Last time I looked, I was still a female . . AND I was still a blonde. I don’t even like mustaches on men let alone myself!

Perhaps I’m exaggerating about the mustache thing, but several dark hairs most definitely make their home on my top lip. And they are not welcome there! Keeping this a secret from the rest of the world has become one of the greatest inconveniences of my young adult life.

My first attempt at keeping it under wraps was buying bleach sold for the very purpose of hiding those pesky dark hairs. But the only thing worse than a few dark hairs is an entire lip full of bleach blonde hair! I’m not going for the Paris Hilton look on any part of my body.

Some may not understand the complexity of the situation. Why not just buy one of those do-it-yourself at-home wax kits? I, for one, am not brave enough to inflict pain upon myself. . . I have to pay someone to do that. It’s not even as simple as dropping by a random salon and letting any esthetician take care of the problem. There are different prices, different products, and different techniques.

My favorite esthetician EVER is also the least expensive, because aside from managing a salon, she also does it out of her home and only charges half price. BUT, in addition to managing a salon, she’s also a nurse, an Arbonne rep, and a single mom. And when the ‘stache comes, there’s just not time to try to schedule an appointment with her. I can’t wait that long! But, oh, she uses the best wax, the best strips, and the best technique. She squeals with joy each time she rips the hair from my face. “Look! Look at all those blood bulbs. We ruined a bunch of follicles!” At first, the word “ruined”, in association with my skin, gave me a big scare until I realized it meant those hairs were gone forever!! But, believe it or not, only SHE has been able to ruin my follicles with her awesome hair-ripping technique.

My second favorite esthetician, who works at a well-known chain salon here in O-town, was actually recommended to me by my beauty-conscious cousin, Joy. (Joy, however, only needs her brows waxed . . no fair!) I like this girl because she’s such a perfectionist and feels strongly about having no hair left behind! She’s also very sweet and talkative and, as all women know, your hair dresser and esthetician just HAVE to be conversational. But, when it comes to ruining follicles – no-can-do.

The last wax appointment I had was an emergency appointment. When I couldn’t bear to look at myself in the GAP fitting room mirrors, I walked straight to the nearest salon across the way at the outdoor mall. I met the cheeriest, most stylish esthetician ever and I thought our relationship could be promising. It being the same chain salon my SFE worked for, I figured the price would be the same. . . Not only was I wrong about the price – it was 6 dollars more, making it $30! – but she gave me the Orange County Choppers wax! Do I look like I have the mustache of Paul Sr.? Then WHY would you wax that part of my face?? It looked so odd for the longest time. (You know when your good friend is saying, “What’s on your face? It looks wet” because there is no hair there, you have a problem!)

It has suddenly grown back and the last several days have been extremely painful. Having dark hairs scream at you day after day doesn’t do much for your self-esteem. Who cares if my make-up is done and my hair looks nice when I’m bearing such a strong resemblance to my father!

I need to make an appointment and FAST!

**Update 1/14: I have an appointment today with 2nd favorite - yay!


Anonymous said...

That is disgusting!!!

L said...

You're obviously a guy, anonymous, because otherwise chances are good that you'd probably be having your lip waxed, too. It's pretty common for women to have a few unwanted hairs on their lip. Your wife probably will, so get ready. ;)

k said...

Nice response! "He" probably thinks girls don't poop either!

cady said...

i have to wax mine too. they get really bad. but i found the nair facial stuff. that stuff works great! takes the hair off and it lasts longer than waxing.

Nick Delaney said...

If he is a guy then he must have never had his eyebrows waxed. Cause if he had then he would have a heart, because that freakin hurts.

Sarah said...

Haha, this post is ace! albeit sounding slightly painful! just caught up on your blog, entertaining as always.