Why, as women, do we settle? I've done it, and I see other girls doing it all the time. And now that I've been there and know better, it drives me nuts when I see other girls making the same mistake. Of course, I couldn't tell when I was in it, but now it seems pretty clear.
I'm talking about dating someone who isn't crazy about you!! I know there are quite a few reading my blog that are married, but I'm sure you at least have a friend who has done this, or perhaps you have in the past.
Why do we stay in relationships that we don't feel completely secure in? Relationships where we can't be ourselves 100% or we're afraid that if we do something "wrong" the other person will want to leave. We only feel as though he's crazy about us some of the time and keep hoping for the day when we won't have to guess what he's thinking or how he's feeling. Is he in this as much as I am? Does he care as much as I do? We mistake physical affection for love. We believe what he says over what he does and how he acts. We lie to ourselves basically.
Why did I stay, I used to ask myself? Perhaps I didn't believe I deserved better. Maybe I thought my expectations were too high. It's not realistic to think someone will make you feel loved all the time. There were so many reasons it made sense for it to work that I couldn't understand how it wouldn't. I believed excuses . . lots of excuses. I focused on the good and not the negative . . I'm always the optimist. I thought, 'If I care, I'll stick it out'. I invested so much and cared so much, I didn't want to let go and give up. I wanted to be loved so much.
Mom would say, "It shouldn't be this much work." I spent too much time feeling unsure about things, about how he felt and what he thought.
I couldn't imagine a better fit. It had to be him, didn't it?
In a healthy relationship, he'll want to be with you all the time, even though you both have your own lives. You won't have to decide which to believe - words or actions - because they'll match! You won't wonder how he feels. He will do sweet things for you not for his own gain, but just because he's crazy about you. He'll care about everything that's going on in your life. He'll listen. You'll know you're #1.
It seems like common sense, but apparently it's not. I settled and now I see so many other girls doing the same! I'm glad to have gone through it, I suppose, because now I can see so much clearly. I now know what I want, what I'm waiting for, no matter how long I have to wait.