The Specialty

Yesterday, a co-worker/friend invited me over to her parents' for lunch where her father filled my plate to nearly overflowing with lots of Thanksgiving leftovers. As I was wondering how I could possibly eat everything on my plate, I heard him say, "K, you need to be sure to let her try the specialty." K kinda laughed and seemed hesitant. "What is it?," I asked, imagining something delicious and only for those who had a special love for dessert, but she wouldn't say. When K came back into the room, she was followed by a guy who was introduced to me as a family friend that was helping with their remodeling project. As soon as he walked into the room, I thought, "Man! he smells funky! That is such an odd smell!" I hoped he'd leave the room ASAP!! but he, too, sat down with a plate full of food, to eat with us. Just then, K pointed to a bowl of slimy, stringy nastiness that looked like a big glob of fat to me. It was "the specialty". When it comes to food, I'm always one to try new things . . it kinda goes along with my whole "love new experiences" thing and I just like being able to say I've tried weird stuff. I have to admit, I was really worried about this, though. It wasn't until after I'd put a small bite in my mouth that I realized . . this is what smelled bad. And it tasted worse. All I could think was, "Ok, Queen of Facial Expressions, don't let them see how painful this is. Focus. Don't breathe through your nose. Don't think about. Just don't think about it." K asked, "Do you want to know what it is?" "No, not yet," I said, thinking I have to swallow it first and make sure it's down. After what seemed like an eternity, it was over. "Ok, what was it?" I asked. "Chitlins," she said. "They're pig intestines. It's an acquired taste."

That is one taste I will never acquire.

Thanksgiving #2

Thanksgiving couldn't have been better. I slept in until 10ish and slowly got ready for the day. Headed out to Uptown Grandma's around 1 o'clock to have dinner with family. This year, there were only 13 of us (17 when my brother came), but it was nice. Of course, many laughs around the table, as always. Between Dad, Cousin! Ty, and Uncle Steve, most things said are humorous. I love my family. This year, the dish-washing duties were assigned to us "kids": Joy, Emily, Annie, & I. (My sister is celebrating Thanksgiving with friends in TN). Even though it was our job, we were given specific instructions as to how to wash them and "be careful not to chip them because they're Amy's plates". (This means my aunt inherits them when Grandma passes away. . . . I have dibs on her library and her entire "Snowy Vilage".)

The girls and I sat around and chatted for awhile after cleaning up and braved the cold without coats so we could get some pics down on the beach. Sorry . . it was my idea to go with no coats.

In the evening, Grandma pulled out her new domino game, Spinner (basically like Mexican Train with some wild dominoes). The only problem was that Grandma couldn't decide what the rules were exactly. . . She kept changing her mind. It was funny more than anything. We had yummy pies and cheesecake for dessert . . . to be honest, though, I'm not a big fan of either and was a little disappointed there was nothing really chocolate-y. The night ended with one of my favorite movies, "How to Lose a Guy . .".

I'm at work right now. It was my choice to come in, because this means I get another floating holiday. And, if I'm going to take a day off, I'd like to actually feel like I'm on vacation . . . like, leave the state or something. I have the pre-game show on for the NE vs. CU game and it's about time for kick-off.

Tonight I plan to clean my room . . . how often have I said that? Why can't it just stay clean?? I'm so unorganized right now. I know I have a bill to pay, but I don't even know where it is!


I almost forgot that I wanted to list a few things that I'm thankful for this year:
- my new sister-in-law who is very sweet and who I am growing to love despite the fact that she has the worst fashion sense I have ever before witnessed in my life and the fact that I'm really afraid she is one day going to rot my niece and nephew's teeth out by giving them lots and lots of sugar and candy, since she is clearly addicted to it . . (I'm thankful I only have to worry about superficial things like this)
- my new nephew and niece who I hope to spoil and love to pieces, since I can't very well pick them up and put them in my pocket
- the Lord's healing and restoration of my heart that I was beginning to think wasn't possible, but now I am 100% whole and so ready for what He has next
- my job that may not be the perfect fit for me - in fact, far from it, but has been a great way to step into the real world and more than provides for my needs
- my relationship with my family, because even though they annoy the living crap out of me at times, I love them and have a special relationship with each of them
- my singleness, because I know that it has purpose and instead of feeling lonely, pathetic, old, and left out, I am thoroughly enjoying myself
- the opportunity to be involved in Fresh Start and to witness, firsthand, the healing of more hearts!!!

I better stop now!

Favorite Fall Pics

Uptown Grandma & I set the table for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving #1

So here is my weekend in a nutshell:
Friday I was so tired that I just wanted to go home, curl up on the couch and watch a movie. Of course that didn't end up happening. I was so close, but I just couldn't do it. Weekends are my only time to really be social. So, S & I ended up driving to Lincoln to watch the state high school football championship game (what a mouthful). We didn't know anyone playing, but it sounded like fun. We sat with BF's bro, ScottieT, and cousin, who at one point went to the competing schools.

I spent Saturday shopping with AnneG and hanging out at her house while she made (or threw in the oven some pre-made) food for her in-laws. Gotta love SuperTarget. BF and I went out for supper at Taste and I ordered the only thing on the menu that I could order and know what to expect: chicken quesadilla . . and calamari for an appetizer. It was still very unique, but yummy. Then, we headed over to Barnes & Noble to practice a little Espanol. I got to bed at midnight and surprisingly wasn't dragging.

Sunday, we celebrated Thanksgiving with Mom's side of the fam, about 30 minutes away. It was a nice day, eating lots and playing games. I usually opt out on some of the eats, like sauerkraut and dumplings and kolaches . . gross . . if being a true Czech involves eating that stuff, then I didn't get any of those genes. Everyone had to hold Sophia (or Fifi, as Micah calls her), so I was lucky to have a turn. She's adorable . . and it's official . . she looks just like my brother's baby pics. SO cute.

Hope everyone's Thanksgiving is great!!

Settling vs. Waiting

Why, as women, do we settle? I've done it, and I see other girls doing it all the time. And now that I've been there and know better, it drives me nuts when I see other girls making the same mistake. Of course, I couldn't tell when I was in it, but now it seems pretty clear.

I'm talking about dating someone who isn't crazy about you!! I know there are quite a few reading my blog that are married, but I'm sure you at least have a friend who has done this, or perhaps you have in the past.

Why do we stay in relationships that we don't feel completely secure in? Relationships where we can't be ourselves 100% or we're afraid that if we do something "wrong" the other person will want to leave. We only feel as though he's crazy about us some of the time and keep hoping for the day when we won't have to guess what he's thinking or how he's feeling. Is he in this as much as I am? Does he care as much as I do? We mistake physical affection for love. We believe what he says over what he does and how he acts. We lie to ourselves basically.

Why did I stay, I used to ask myself? Perhaps I didn't believe I deserved better. Maybe I thought my expectations were too high. It's not realistic to think someone will make you feel loved all the time. There were so many reasons it made sense for it to work that I couldn't understand how it wouldn't. I believed excuses . . lots of excuses. I focused on the good and not the negative . . I'm always the optimist. I thought, 'If I care, I'll stick it out'. I invested so much and cared so much, I didn't want to let go and give up. I wanted to be loved so much.

Mom would say, "It shouldn't be this much work." I spent too much time feeling unsure about things, about how he felt and what he thought.

I couldn't imagine a better fit. It had to be him, didn't it?

In a healthy relationship, he'll want to be with you all the time, even though you both have your own lives. You won't have to decide which to believe - words or actions - because they'll match! You won't wonder how he feels. He will do sweet things for you not for his own gain, but just because he's crazy about you. He'll care about everything that's going on in your life. He'll listen. You'll know you're #1.

It seems like common sense, but apparently it's not. I settled and now I see so many other girls doing the same! I'm glad to have gone through it, I suppose, because now I can see so much clearly. I now know what I want, what I'm waiting for, no matter how long I have to wait.

Here Comes Christmas

The first snow of the season has me thinking about Christmas and how far away it isn't. In less than a couple of weeks, I'll be ready to begin celebrating. I have this weird pet peeve: celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving. Of course, I think we should celebrate what Christmas means all year long, but I'm talking about the music, the lights, the decorations, and the cookies. I love it all, but it seems more special when it only goes on for a month. Plus, it just doesn't seem right to break out all the decor before sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner. Part of the anticipation of Christmas is knowing that you have to wait until Thanksgiving has past. It symbolizes the true end of fall, the beginning of winter, and the start of the Christmas season.

This year I'm on a budget. This is hard for me. Especially around Christmas. Usually the month before Christmas is the best time for sales and really cute stuff you can't not buy. Every year I end up spending more money on myself than I do on other people. I go out to buy a gift for someone and come home with two gifts for myself. Christmastime is the worst when it comes to self-control. You get in such a habit of swiping the debit card, you just can't stop. But I don't want to buy myself anything this year . . anything! I'm on a mission to pay off my last credit card and buying myself stuff I don't need will only put it off. It will feel so good to be debt-free! and I'm so close. I've decided I need to know what I'm getting people before I even head to the stores. Perhaps if I'm on a mission, it will prevent me from running across so many temptations. I can hope!


Today is just awful! Not only is it snowing, but it's cold slushy snow and the wind is blowing so much that it pelts your face with wet sleet. I had to get gas and the pump was wet and freezing cold with slush. I was 12 minutes late to work because I didn't realize it had snowed until I walked outside. I popped my trunk in hopes of finding my scraper/brush and had to reach so far into the back that my feet were no longer touching the ground and I the front of my pants was all wet. I'm a bit nervous to drive home tonight because one of my co-workers said it's getting worse . . so slick and so windy. And to think it got up to 75 last week and people were wearing short-sleeved shirts the the game! Why can't we just ease into this whole winter thing?

Cornhead

Modesty

The most common complaint I hear from women my age is that there is no longer any "dating scene". Young people go out in packs, they drink, they "hook up," and the next day life returns to normal. I suppose you could find much depression in this behavior---for starters, that there is not even a pretense of anticipation of a love that will last forever in the cold expression, "to hook up"--- but there is also a lot about this behavior that should give us hope, and that is the fact that all of them have to drink to do it. They aren't drinking wine to begin a delightful conversation. They are drinking beer and hard liquor to get drunk---precisely to cut out delightful conversation and get "right to the point," as it were. That is the advertised purpose of most college parties. And this kind of drinking is really quite a stark admission: that, in fact, we realize we are not just like the lower animals, that our romantic longings and hopes should inform our most intimate actions, and that if the prevailing wisdom decrees "hook ups" don't matter, that sex is "no big deal," then we must numb ourselves in order to go through with it. Thus, we pay tribute to the importance of modesty by the very lengths to which we must go to stifle it. We are all modest already, deep down---because we are human---we just need to stop drinking so much, get off our Prozac, and come out of the closet about it. Like Modesty Anonymous.

I am writing because I see so much unhappiness around me, so many women settling for less, because I don't want to settle for less and because I don't think you should have to, either. I don't want to have sex because "I guess" I want it. I want to wait for something more exciting than that, and modesty helps me understand why.

by Wendy Shalit

(Thanks to Anne for letting me post this essay. I thought it was really good.)

I Got a Kick

I don't know what Billie & Ella were singing about when they said,
"I get no kick in a plane
Flying too high with some guy in the sky
Is my idea of nothing to do"

It was so much fun! When I first opened the door of the plane, I thought I was going to have to sit in his lap. Unfortunately (just kidding :) I didn't have to. It wasn't scary at all. The whole ride was smooth, except for the times he intentionally made my heart skip a beat. . like when he had it stall (shut the engine off) and it went up and then down really fast, like a roller coaster. I loved it! We flew over college football practice where some of his friends still play and he "waved" with the wings moving back and forth. Most importantly I wanted to fly over Uptown Grandma's lake. She has a big picture of the island from above in her downstairs hallway. Dad told me that the first time Grandpa bought a plane, Dad was on the beach and Grandpa flew really low over the lake right in front of him, and that's the first time Dad saw the new plane. One reason the lake is so special to me is because Grandpa was one of the developers and he built many of the first homes on that island.

My friend said he'll take me again whenever I want to go. And I definitely want to go again!
I almost forgot to mention that he let me fly!
But we climbed 200 ft and then he took over again. I felt really safe with him flying and I could tell he knows what he's doing. I told him that getting his pilot's license was definitely cooler than being able to drink 4 beers in a minute and a half. . . Definitely! (I witnessed that, by the way . . and again I say . . definitely.)

I'll post one more picture of us with the Cessna.

Heaven

I'm going flying with XB today. I've been wanting to go all summer . . ever since we started talking again and I learned he had his pilot's license. I've always wanted to see my town from above . . especially the lake. My grandpa used to own planes and sadly, that is actually how he lost his life. Uptown Grandma thinks it was vertigo, but no one really knows. It's no surprise that she doesn't want me flying with XB. Neither does Dad. Is it bad that I'm just not telling them? I talked to XB last night about meeting up and whatnot and he said, "You know we're gonna crash and die, right?" I said, "I'm ready." He kinda grunted doubtfully and said, "So you've done everything you wanna do, huh?" And I just said, "Anything I haven't done I'll be able to do in Heaven, so I'm not worried about it." It sounded a little crazy to him, as it would to most people, I suppose, so he kinda laughed like he didn't know what I was talking about. I told him, "Well, it's biblical. It's not like I'm going to be floating around on a cloud playing a harp." Not wanting to discuss anything of a spiritual nature, he said, "Ok, ok, we're not going to crash and die."

Our mini-discussion on Heaven got me to thinking about the page of "Heaven" (by Randy Alcorn) that I'd read yesterday. The book has been a slow reader because it's so full of information. What I love about it is that the author backs up what he says with Scripture and if something is merely his own speculation, he will state so, or just say, "I think, because . . " Reading this book has completely changed my thoughts about Heaven. To be honest, I was never really excited to go. How many people think of Heaven as some far-off place that is completely foreign and super boring and void of so many things they now love and enjoy? Probably all of us! Because XB doesn't have relationship with the Lord, our perspectives are so opposite. He is living for the moment, taking pleasure in temporary things that sadly will only lead to death in the end. Even those that know Jesus can often develop a "only live once" mentality. The following paragraph from the book really stuck out to me:

"The lack of an eternal perspective sets us up not only for discouragement but, also for sin. We tell ourselves, If I don't experience an intimate relationship now, I never will. Or If I don't have the means to go there, I never will. Then we feel desperate, tempted to take shortcuts to get what we want (what we think we want). We're tempted toward fornication, dishonesty, or theft. Or we live in regret, envy, and greed. But if we understand that we'll actually live in a new heavens and New Earth, a new universe full of opportunities, then we can forgo certain pleasures and experiences now, knowing we can enjoy them later. It's by giving up various pleasures, possessions, and power now that we obtain them in the next world. *If* we're Christians [and have a personal relationship with Jesus], we get two opportunites to live on Earth. This first one is but a dot. It begins, it ends. It's brief. The second opportunity will be a line, extending on forever. We all live in the dot. But if we're smart, we'll be living for the line."

Polish Horseshoes & Fireworks

What a great weekend! Friday night I planned to go home and clean, but Uptown Grandma (as I'll refer to her, while my other grandma is Farmtown Grandma) called and asked if I'd like to have dinner and see a movie. She and I are quite close, so I was happy to be able to spend time with her. We ate Mexican at SanAnna's and went to see "Dreamer" which was such a good movie that I think I'd actually buy it. Yes, it was a heartwarming, wholesome movie. You know if Uptown Grandma liked it that it's safe for the whole family. After the movie, she asked me to stay the night with her, so I stayed in one of the guest rooms and we went to breakfast the next morning. Saturday, my family was in Kansas, so I had the house to myself. I decided to speak my mom's love language (as in, do something that makes her feel loved and appreciated) by cleaning the house (at least, parts of it). When I got to my room, it would be an understatement to say I was overwhelmed. I don't like to just tidy my room; I want it to be immaculate, which rarely ever happens. I did, however, move all my summer tops to the upper closet rod and my winter/fall to the bottom *tear*, so I no longer have to use a step stool to reach them. I pulled out all my sweaters and folded them neatly on my shelves. I realized that I own 20 sweaters, which felt like a sin, but not enough to get rid of any of them. Whenever I feel guilty about my closet, I just remember Uptown Grandma's many closets full of clothing and I don't feel nearly as bad.

I listened to the game on the radio while cleaning, and it was painful. That's all I'll say about that.

S invited me to see a matinee, and I was excited about the discount price, but it only ended up being the same price as a student ticket. Every little bit helps, though. Except for all the sex (and there was a whole lotta sex), I liked the movie. It was better than I expected it to be, actually. For one thing, I couldn't wait to see what she would be wearing in the next scene. Her character was just cute, I thought - personality and everything. S & I were near tears at the end. Why is it that love just isn't enough??!! Relationships have to be based on so much more than that. It sucks! Anyway, I won't say the title of the movie. . that way I won't ruin it for anyone. There are so many movies I want to see right now. I heard "Jarhead" was just horrible; BF walked out . . but that wasn't really on my list of must-sees anyway. I did hear that "An Unfinished Life" was good.

Anyway, my plan on Saturday night was to be in bed by 10. . or 11. Yeah right. Tommy was having a few people over, so I called D and he came along with S & I. We played polish horseshoes, which was fun as always, except for the freezing cold which made it impossible for me to catch the frisbee - ouch! Tommy actually has gloves he plays with! He looks so intense in this picture! Check out the jacket, too! Reminds me of something "Shaft" would wear -hehe.


Sunday, in celebration of L's 28th b-day, I went with AMC to her parents' acreage over in Iowa to celebrate with her friends and family. The food was "delish" . . so much of it. M brought her famous cheesecake again - I think it was butter toffee this time. L had wanted fireworks for her birthday, so her hubby picked some up in Missouri last month and we had a fireworks show after dark. How fun!

We took some pics outside, but sadly, everything seems pretty colorless already.

100 Things About Me

1. I am the oldest of 3 (brother -21, sister -18).

2. I am the most high-maintenance member of my family.

3. I sucked my thumb and slept with a blanket until I was 10, and I only stopped because I "lost" my blanket. (Thanks, Mom).

4. As a result of thumb-sucking, I've had braces twice.

5. I felt very self-conscious and ugly throughout junior high and high school, until my senior year.

6. I was outgoing throughout elementary.

7. I have no self-control when it comes to Cold Stone.

8. As much as I love eating out, I'd rather eat a home-cooked meal.

9. I'm only allergic to ragweed and can get bad hay fever in the Fall.

10. I had a lazy eye that turned in when I was 2 and I wore glasses and an eye patch.

11. I had two surgeries to correct it at ages 3 and 10, but I still wear contacts and glasses and my eye still turns in when I get tired.

12. I'm exactly half right-brain, half left-brain. (Basically half my Mom, half my Dad.)

13. I wish I was more thoughtful.

14. I gave my life to the Lord at age 11, fully understanding and wanting it to be a lifelong decision.

15. It was the best decision I ever made and will ever make.

16. One of my thumbs is shorter and fatter than the other.

17. My mom is one of my best friends.

18. My mom is one of the most selfless people I know.

19. I hate that I can be really selfish.

20. My first job was just before I turned 16 at a seasonal ice cream shop - yum! (I never learned how to make cones the Zesto way.)

21. Few things excite me as much as the word "Sale".

22. I played the piano for 8 years and wish I could still play well.

23. I played the trombone for 2 years and hated it. (Don't ask why I chose that instrument.)

24. My band teacher put me in the *select* bands. I thought he overestimated my talent and I quit.

25. I've tried playing several sports. Tennis and golf stuck.

26. I can't play competitive sports well. I psyche myself out.

27. I love playing sports for fun.

28. No one else in my immediate family likes sports. This has always disappointed me.

29. I majored in Speech Communication, but don't know what I really want to do.

30. My "first kiss" was when I cornered a boy in Kindergarten and kissed him on the nose.

31. I liked him for the next 7 years. (He's still a really nice, cute, smart guy.)
32. I don't agree with girls asking guys out.

33. I've done #32 once. (He said yes.) But, I shouldn't have.

34. I've only been in two relationships.

35. I was in love in one of them, but he didn't love the Lord, so I broke up with him, which was the hardest thing I've ever done.

36. I wanted to be in love in my other relationship, which lasted over three times as long as the first one. He wasn't in love with me, either.

37. I am loyal, sometimes to a fault.

38. My favorite season is summer because of the lake.

39. I know how much I paid for everything I own . . and I also know how much I 'saved'.

40. I hate losing touch with people.

41. I'm not capable of taking a shower in under ten minutes.

42. I only like Kraft macaroni and cheese with green peas mixed in.

43. I would love to have a full-body wax.

44. I'm only 100% dork around my sister.

45. Spelling and grammar errors drive me nuts.

46. I can't talk without using my hands and making facial expressions.

47. I don't usually like change, but I adapt well.

48. If I overanalyze, I can really overanalyze.

49. I'm very sentimental.

50. I'm emotional.

51. I wish I was less of both.

52. Fortunately, I'm not also very sensitive.

53. My sister is.

54. She and I don't have anything in common, but we get along. . finally.

55. People fascinate me.

56. Nothing gives me more joy than seeing God heal someone's heart and set them free.

57. I would be a mess without Him.

58. I've torn my ACL twice in the same knee in 2 years: snow-skiing and playing volleyball.

59. I didn't cry over it the first time, but I cried a LOT the second time.

60. I hate admitting #2, #49, & #50.

61. Barbies were my favorite childhood game (I only played alone). It was a huge creative outlet for me. (I basically created my own *wholesome* soap opera.)

62. I have an excellent immune system.

63. I can't ride in the car with my mom driving. I have to drive.

64. I wanted to be an architect when I was 12 and would draw floor plans on my small drafting board.

65. I can't eat bananas plain. I love them in ice cream and cereal and pie, though.

66. I could live on cereal. . especially Wheaties.

67. My love for clothing began with Limited Too and Gap Kids.

68. I'm not a cat lover, but I love my cat. And I loved my old cat (RIP).

69. I used to read 3-5 books at a time and once met my goal of 50 books in a year.

70. I miss reading that much.

71. My grandma's lake is my favorite place and I have made the most wonderful memories with friends and family there.

72. Moving out of state sounds fun and adventurous, but I'm not sure I could do it. I love being close to family and all things familiar.

73. I moved an hour away for college one year. Football games, a sorority, and a best friend weren't enough to keep me there.

74. The next 3 years of college, I lived with 3-4 girl friends in a big apartment nearly the size of my parents' house and had the time of my life :).

75. I have naturally blonde, wavy hair, which I used to hate, but now love.

76. I wish my chest was a cup-size bigger, but I'd rather be small than big, because I can get away with wearing more things without being revealing.

77. I used to have my nose pierced and wish I still did.

78. I prefer heels to flats, but sometimes feel too prissy wearing them.

79. I am 5'2". . . hence my heels preference.

80. I absolutely love surprises.

81. I hate pop (soda). Always have. In fact, I only drink water, milk, and a few mixed drinks.

82. It's easy for me to be content and optimistic.

83. I'm a firm believer that attitude is only 10% circumstance, 90% choice. (This doesn't mean I never have a bad attitude.)

84. I like my closet color-coordinated.

85. I have never been drunk.

86. I have been tipsy a few times, which was fun, but I felt stupid afterward.

87. I love the drink Sex on the Beach, but hate ordering it.

88. I hate missing out on anything.

89. I failed an Algebra class in college because I never went and missed a rescheduled test. I took it again and got a B.

90. Hearing people breathe is annoying and grosses me out. But coughing grosses me out more.

91. I think I have the most wonderful extended family anyone could ask for.

92. I hate talking on the phone. I love talking in person.

93. I took a dance class and now know several ballroom and latin dances.

94. I wish I had someone fun to dance with.

95. I don't love kids, but there are kids that I LOVE.

96. I don't have to travel to stay sane, but I love traveling.

97. I love organization, but I'm rarely organized.

98. My fave magazines are People, Real Simple, and Lucky.

99. My best friend and I like most of the same things, but have very different personalities.

100. I love my comfort zone . . but I love when I'm forced to step out of it.

The Process

Last night, I was chatting with a good friend of mine and we were discussing how we've been a bit discouraged and less motivated to seek the Lord on a consistent basis. We've been tempted to compare ourselves to others, perhaps, and thought, "I'll never be 'there'". Speaking for myself, I've been distracted by lesser things. Not even bad things, but things that don't press me to the Lord. Things that I do instead of spending time with Him. Things that may be good and fun, but they don't satisfy like He does; they don't touch my heart like He does.

So this post is for you, Friend (you know who you are). . . and for anyone else it may speak to.

Uncle Steve said some things last night that really got my attention (he's said them before, but they just got my attention this time):

“Make your end the process.”

“There’s always more with the Lord.”

It just made me think that if I have this place I want to be with the Lord, this place I want to be in my walk with Him, I’m never going to be there; I’ll never be satisfied with where I am. I’m never going to reach that end. But if I make my end the process, then I’ll be encouraged to keep going and pressing through when I don’t feel like it, or when my heart isn't in the condition I'd like it to be, or when I still feel so spiritually immature. I’ll always be looking and anticipating more, because there is always more with the Lord. It’s neverending. But if I don’t continue in the process, I’m not allowing him to give me more. I want to stay in the flow and not step out of it. I know that whatever life may bring, the Lord will be with me through the process. He'll be there in the dry times just as much as in the times when I feel saturated in His presence. If I seek Him, He'll keep transforming me and growing me up in Him, even when I can't see how or I ask why at times.

So bring on the process 'cause I'm stepping back into the flow.

Harry, Bob, and Angelina

You should've seen the look of glee on Ryan's face when I said, "Ryan, I totally thought it was Harry Potter when you came to the door!" (I really was taken aback by the resemblance. Well done to his mom and dad!)




Evan wasn't too into the whole costume thing. Here he is, yanking off his scarf/bandana.











Caroline said, "Look at me, I can twirl like a ballerina!"