Friday, May 11, 2007

New Girl's decision

This week, New Girl gave her two weeks notice. If you've been reading 'me' for awhile, you'll remember when I met her, when she was in fact "the new girl". She's not only far from 'new' anymore, she's leaving! My initial remarks to hearing this (although I've known it was coming) were blatantly honest and not even remotely kind, although my intention wasn't to be hurtful.

NG: I am so excited to move back to Boston and have friends again!
Me: You could've had friends here, but you didn't try.

My reaction couldn't be more true. Going home to watch tv every night hardly increases your chances of making friends with the horde of co-workers who already love you and want to hang out.

NG: I'm so nervous. This is a big risk.
Me: Yep. I'd be nervous too if I was you.

Also a true statement. She's taking a big risk leaving such an amazing company after just under a year to go live near a boyfriend who won't commit to her and with whom she constantly experiences conflict.

But I know I shouldn't have been so honest. And I get it. I get her decision. I did the same thing when I was a freshman in college. I didn't give it a chance. I didn't make friends. I only missed the friends I left at home (which, mind you, was only an hour away). I counted down the hours until I could drive home for the weekend and see my boyfriend with whom my relationship was very short-lived. Looking back though, I don't regret leaving. I was much happier transferring to a college in the city that I loved and living with the greatest group of girls anyone could ever hope to live with. To be honest, I probably never should've chosen my first school in the first place. But I always would've wondered. And I still wonder. What if I had gotten involved and made friends there? It's a great school and it could've been a great school for me. My best friend went there. We could've made some great memories together, but I left her.

But sometimes we make emotional decisions. And really it all turns out ok. Maybe different than we expected. Maybe it just takes longer to get where we're going. Maybe we even have consequences to pay. But it can all turn out ok. (especially if Jesus has the reins)

And that's what I should've told her.


Heather said...

I understand that feeling...still be 3 years here and I am not completely happy partly my fault and partly not. But I have not let yet. I met a great guy and I have a great job so that has helped a lot.

Anne said...

Girl ... you know you gotta be you and say it like it is. Sometimes honesty hurts but that doesn't make it wrong! You don't have a mean bone in your body, so I doubt you were.

my life is brilliant said...

You can tell her those things still. I'm sure she'll understand. She's your friend, and you don't want her to leave. You can see all the reasons she's leaving, and you're a good enough friend to tell her that some of them aren't good reasons.